mylife

youth camp

haha.there are so many things that i haven update abt!haha.lets start with youth camp..youth camp was quite good this year...but somehow it just feels different...maybe becuz last year it was my cell who organise..then my group members are all so young..i feel so old there la.haha.im like the oldest in my group!besides linsheng...haha..then i realise its time for us to take responsibility and take care of the young ones..so fast!i was just telling huimin..dunno why i started not to like taking responsibilities...started not to like taking leading roles....it is so unlike me...i rmb i use to like all these...maybe becuz i had my fair share of leading experience in school..im just back to my lazy mode la.haha.anyway my group was quite funny..the two little boys,paul and daniel..though they are like so naughty...but they are also very cute..brought alot of joy to my heart seeing them..haha.i was looking after them as though they were my little brothers la.hahaa.things were pretty much the same when i left..dunno whether if its good or not..but was glad to see that a few of the worship leaders really improve quite alot..and some of the younger ones become more mature...its really quite heartwarming to see that those young ones grow up...but at the same time i feel old.ahaha.a part of me really want to stay while a part of me says this is not the family for me...cuz after all i am on different frequency with them..i quite said a lie..i told them that the bonds are still there even i left for 3 mths..but i was thinking..those bonds were nv there..the only friends im close with are perhaps huimin and huiting...and my cell?dunno..
im like super confuse right now..i know i still care for my church..im so happy with all the changes the worship min is undergoing thru..all the jamming sessions(FINALLY!)haha.but a part of me is just so tired and tell myself i wun be there to enjoy the feeling of joy when things are finally different..rawrrr...i really dunno.i think my greatest obstruction for me to stay is the frends there.AHH.and that is SO HARD to change.cuz we are really on very different frequency..and the clicks are there for so long.thus very hard to break thru....sighhh

posted by HIS child @ 12:02 AM