mylife

mon blues?

todae morn came to sch in a rather cheerpy mood..while everyone was so tired and moody..oh well..mon..wad do u expect..aniwae..Sonia,i ll pray for you! juz rmb..NO MATTER WAD HAPPENS,JUZ HOLD ONTO HIM!! DUN EVER LET GO!!YUPP..

aniwae..todae worship din go well lar..kinda first time leading in CF..though it it informal..but still...kinda disappointed and all..and after that my mood seriously juz went all the way down man..pearl's words keep repeating in my mind...i was telling her this morn..that i signed up for worship comm..then she told me that i dun even really noe how to play the guitar..i dun even noe alot of things..how to be the worship comm..well..it is true lar..im not saying that she discourage me or wadeva..i m juz glad she told me the truth..i have the passion and heart but seriously dun have the abilities..sigh..

woah..at the end of the day i was really tired man..those kind that if u say sth that may hurts me alittle..i will start tearing liow..oh well..im not usually like that..but wun i m tired..i can really tears alot..todae i was reminded back of the past..he reminded me when i was in sec 2...i still rmb that some of my frends whom i trusted sudd juz turn their backs against me..then on blog they start saying how irritating i am..like probbing into their conversation..and trying to get into the conversation when they juz want it to themselves..those days were horrible..they din even tell me what was wrong with me..and they juz started to..nvm...its all in the past..

coming back to todae..oh well..firstly i m curious becuz i care..if i dun even bother..i wun even want to know anything..or wadeva it is going on..i m so afraid that they might find me irritating again..cuz they are the frends that hold dear to me..bcuz of my past..i have become so sensitive..i cant help it..cuz i m scared..im sorry im oversensitive...im sorry that i keep probing..next time..i wun ask anymore..i m juz hurt that whats there that u all cant tell me..im part of u all after all..nvm..i shall juz remain ignorant..after all ignorant is a bliss..
why does it hurt so much?why..oh well..maybe becuz im tired...maybe bcuz i felt that u all juz dun trust me..

you all are one bunch of people that i love very very much..but developing close and strong relationship needs time..and im not sure if i have time..it is time to choose which grp of frends to focus my time on..cuz i cant possibly spilt myself up..can i?

i duno..super tired now..cant think clearly..dun even noe what im typing..haha..

posted by HIS child @ 5:23 AM