mylife

the power of God

haha.today is April fool day! aww..too bad didnt really get to fool anyone.wanted to like bluff the congregation today.but i guess better not.if not uncle daniel scold.oh well.haha.today is the first time in 1 and 1/2 mths that i lead worship again.oh well.1 and 1/2 mths is quite long..given the fact that i didnt go church for like 3 weeks.haha.anyway im really amaze at God's power.i am reminded of the power of surrendrance to Him.Honestly i felt im not spiritually right at this time to lead.cuz like wad i told the church, i was facing a time of spiritual dryness.even more to that.i wasnt really doing my quiet time very regularly.i even broke down when i was practising!cuz i didnt have the peace in my heart like i use to have whenever i lead.haha.at that point i told God, its not me who is leading but You.i am going to surrender this worship into Your hands.i wont be able to lead without You cuz im too weak." and today even as i led, i led by the holy spirit. i didnt even want to be vulnerable to my church by telling them i wasnt feeling right.but God told me that i have to be open with them in order for them to see His glory thru me.and i did.i can tell you, it wasnt easy.its not easy to make urself vulnerable to the whole congregation.But it is only when we surrender and obey God 100%, thats when He can come and take control.thats when His glory can be seen thru you.

today's worship to me was good.perhaps not in man's eyes.but i noe i was indeed truly worshipping God cuz this is the first time my heart was actually really really crying for my church people.(thats why my voice was shaky) haha.and i could felt God's presence there.which was really totally amazing.i mean thats for me to say.but i duno the congregation.lol.

and i had a huge encouragement today!! i was really really encouraged by charmaine.when she was the first one to raise up her hand!and she was like sitting right in front!! i was soooooo encourage u noe.cuz long ago i felt i wanted to nurture charmaine to become a worship leader.cuz i felt she got potential.i duno why i felt.but God just placed it in my heart.but then i think she is too young to enter worship min.so i kept this secret desire in my heart.today i was so touch!! im really really touch that she has the passion for God.=))

but besides that encouragement, i duno why..the feeling of loneliness is back again.i always felt that way but somehow today it came back again.maybe its becuz today i presented myself vulnerable to my whole church congregation and yet none asked me how i was after that.but oh well, like what i told my youth, this journey of obedience and surrendrance is hard but God promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us!=) Its hard but i believe with God's strength i can go on!=)

posted by HIS child @ 6:58 AM