Tuesday, December 29, 2009

in and out of rough patches

just when i thot i was out of a rough patch, im back in again
my heart is aching so much that it literally jumps whenever u msg me back or msn. cuz im scared u might say sth that will make it even more painful
im so confused. i dunno wad i shld be feeling right now. i really dont.
why didnt i have the discipline like i had before.
im overreacting. i must be. im usually not like that. not even when i thot the worse had already happened to me. i cant sleep. and people are telling me to be cool abt it. how to be..
my heart is literally aching. all the stress that adds on to it. never knew going for exchange could be this troublesome. all the stuff that needs to be settled.
i need to get hold of myself
wish i didnt need to pretend everything is alright in front of other people. esp my church ppl. wish they were more sensitive. wish church was really a place i can have refuge in.

really hope 2010 will be better for me. God, i cant take this anymore. 2009 was crazy. i cant recall any single period whereby i felt joyful. my joy is always shortlived. i hope 2010 will be a lot better


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