tired
haha..havent been writing in here for quite sum time...ok..i have to admit that nowadays i m very tired...it is one thing that can describe me now...
Tired physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally.....i honestly never felt so tired before..
nowadays i sleep for like more than 8 hours but yet i still feel tired and my mind is not functioning well or not at all functioning...all day i juz daze during lessons...haha..i dun even feel like talking to people..really..haha..oh my....i LOVE to talk one lors...those whu noe me shld noe...i can dun do anything else..bu i cant stop talking...now..i dun feel like doing anything..
i dun even feel like typing this out..haha..but i type this to those whu are concern for me..those whu ask me wad to pray for me..yupp..pray for me for strength..i need strength at this point of time i guess..haha..havent told anyone wad happen actually...i didnt tell anyone cuz everyone(the christians seem to be down)...and i think i prob cry in front of the person i tell...
the best is i m becoming more and more high D!!!haha...imagine lizhen being high D...i m getting more and more hot tempered nowadays..and horrible thoughts keep creeping into my mind..and i keep chasing them away and control myself form having them....i tell myself no matter wad i m not going to give the devil a foothold in my life..NEVER...but constant war with the devil and my ownself wearies me out..and result to me hating myself also...i hate myself to think of all these thoughts and all my actions..and nowadays i have really been controlling myself not to flare up or say anything nasty...i dun want to hurt anyone..when i do my reflections at night..while doing QT..i was like wad happen to me???why m i becoming like that???ahhhh...
i knew that this period maybe a test of God- to test my faith and perseverance...
i constantly faces stress from everywhere...
church stress..school stress..family stress...and i m sick!
i m tired but i m juz holding on...i m like juz holding on...sometimes i feel that i m like holding on to nth..but nevertheless being a stubborn person..i told myself i m not going to give up...
i m really getting very tired..i so tried to be high and tried to be a strong pillar for those around me..trying to encourage them when they are down..but now i have to admit that i m very tired...
so i guess those whu care for me can only pray for me..i wld appreciate it..
posted by HIS child @ 12:53 AM
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