mylife

things are diff

todae is the first worship(that i m on duty) that i actually focus on God instead of my voice..at the beginning,as usual the mic was not working..haha..honestly i was worrying abt if my voice could be heard(if not they say i sing too soft again)..but thank God todae worship was long enough to make me realise that God doesnt want to hear my voice..He wants to hear my heart..worship is not juz as my singing, is abt giving our heart to God..and i was reminded of a book which i had been reading again.."extravagant worship"..and God told me to trust Him and juz sing like when i wasnt on stage..indeed i calmed down n miraculously the AVA guy finally knew there was sth wrong with my mic and increased the volume..haha..cool man..

then later went to EL to watch Left Behind series 1,2 and 3..honestly,duno why..when i went in there..i felt things were not the same anymore..i felt that everyone has moved on except me..like wad joel told me.many things had happen during the period i din cum..i felt so out of place there..i felt lost..cuz i thot i cld always cum back if there were be a point of time when i really want to change church..but no..i cant..cuz things are juz so foreign to me..everyone..i duno..i feel so lost..i m like struggling in my own church..there is nowhere that i cld feel belong to..i feel so useless..i m juz escaping frm problems..maybe God wants me to stay and face the problems instead of church hopping..i duno why..my heart feels pain that i cant describe and nor do i noe the reason why it is hurting..

aniwae while watching Left Behind series 1,2 & 3..i realsie if i were to leave in the tribulation period now..i wouldnt survive..i really admire their faith..and truly..having strong faith can bring wonders that we nv thot to be possible..i cld see the love they have for God is SO strong..that even death do not frighten them..for they know that God is with them and they are doing wad He wants them to do..

posted by HIS child @ 6:02 AM