Appreciation
haha.VERY long time never blog liao..cuz i have been busy mugging!haha.not really lar...but i m not slacking either!
well.after reading woon's blog..i realise i have not really shown my appreciation to ppl around me..that in fact i have taken them for granted! but i feel really blessed to have them!!! the strong fellowship we have with one another.nth can ever replace these bonds.and i really thank God that he put me in Rv!even though i dun like the school but i duno wad i will become if i wasnt in RV..God plans are really GREAT!
i really thank God for Rvee Armee!!(i m not copying woon but i really want to write this)
if it was not for them i prob wun find the real me.honestly i had a bad childhood.last time lizhen was like anti social one.quiet quiet one.really a mugger.suicidal.haha.
cant imagine rite..i m like so crazy now..can even fight with xianyu liao..haha...but it is because God is in my life!He TOTALLY changed me.and also with rvee armee i dun have to wear a mask.i can be whu i m.
YUPP!PRAISE THE LORD MAN!
there is like a whole lot list of ppl i want to say thank u and love you so much lar..if i miss out anyone pls tell me..haha..i cant write one whole list of testi.i m not as pro as woon.maybe i will after Os!haha
pao(da 1st gal i toke to in sec3!thanks for being such a wonderful sista! n great encourager)
kwek(luv those crazy times!high i rox!thanks for being there when i need someone to confide to)
joy(haha.always bringing happiness to me like ur name.haha.stop acting cute!haha.really brighten my life!)
ivy(really luv toking to u.haha.realise u r very lame too)
woon(haha.ur lameness and crap juz makes me laugh n laugh n laugh!)
isaac(thanks for being such a caring n nice brother whu is so understanding and also can stand my talking and is always available when i need u!haha)
charmaine(a sweet girl n we can toke abt anything after only knowing each other for 2 weeks!)
charis choo(haha.even though we are like 2 yrs apart but we can click so well!luv ya man!)
johnathan(thanks for being such a wonderful cell grp leader!able to stand our noise.but i noe u luv us!luv ya too.but stop being so high D!lolx!)
pastor andrew!(GREAT pastor.i can go office whenever i want to and talk to him!he is so nice and patient with me..thank you for tolerating my nonsense!haha)
samuel.kasey.ivan.ewen.chara.charis lum.sandy.cavell.joshua.yuenhao.zhou.(aiyah those in prayer meeting n my cell n whom i m closer to!)
paula(my great prayer partner!she is so cheerful n so on fire for God!Stay faithful girl!)
Wanting(haha.thanks for listening to me n encouraging me n also with me when i m down n nv judged me!haha.u r not as quiet as u look actually.
really glad to noe u and had fun studying and shopping with u!)
desiree(thanks for being always there when i need u.and also giving good advice.rock on for Jesus!)
wanru(the quiet n softspoken girl.but act not really.haha.really enjoy the happy times we have together)
christine(thanks for being able to stand my act cuteness n craziness!really great sista who i can talk to n confide in)
huimin(know each other for like at least 10 years?a girl whu gives in and dun argue.thanks for tolerating me.esp my hyperness!)
huiting(haha.also know u 10 years.a funny and very onz girl.luv ya!)
xiaomei(didnt really get to noe u util last year.u r really funny n brought joy to the whole cell.haha.4 of us r gg to be there in youth camp ok?c u there!oops.i see u every sun hor.haha)
cuiping(been cell grp leader like for 3 years liao rite?always encouraging us!thanks for all the effort u put into our cell grp!)
celeste n ivan(thanks for opening ur hse for us to watch movie!)
kailin(duno how we got close.but really is God's plan.thanks for being such a GREAT sista!from baking cookies together to shopping!)
junwei.josiah.junpei.victoria.shooling.eric.faith.weizhen.weiling.amanda.xueyi.siowhwee uncle daniel.michelle foong.
did i miss out anyone?haha.hope not.gtg.my mum is calling.haha.bye!
the power of God is real!
haha.okies.though i m still feeling tired..but now i m so much better!haha
todae went to elim church for pam(dunno how to spell her name) seaward's talk.her speech was powerful..as least wad she preach spoke a lot to me..she is a real anointed speaker..yupp..i wrote like 5 pages(first time i wrote so much during a sermon)..haha...
but then me n paula was like the only youth there..then the rest were pastors(mostly)..so her speech was more of ministering..but whu cares..it spoke a lot to me..yupp..
but anyway to cut the story short..i act got a lot to say..but muz wait till another day...cuz me need to sleep..haha... anyway i prayed that God will draw me closer to Him...and He did!
after the sermon..we went up n start praying..wah could really feel the presence of God lor..it was really strong..i was shaking n trying not to fall...an i was swaying back n forth..n i felt that i was like floating lar...dunno how to explain lar...the feeling was great..then Pam Seaward ask those whu ever doubt wad God can do to their ministry to step forward..so i did...with sum other pastors..then the next thing i noe was someone was praying for me..and i started crying n crying..is sort of like God is searching DEEP right down into my heart..and i cried like never before..
then i couldnt really rmb wad happen...i only noe God spoke to me in a very gentle way...then i rmb got ppl going up to say sum stuff...but i forgot wad was it..all i rmb was i said hallelujah..haha..then a guy(i think it was Pam Seaward's father) cum n pray for me..and i fell...and felt really hot...esp at my neck area...i think i lay down for quite sum while then got up..
i guess God has really dug out the things i have been keeping inside me...and during that time of praying i was also repenting...
then even after we leave elim church i was still feeling very weak..wah..i m glad i went..haha...cuz during Pam's Seaward's talk..i discovered sum of my weakness or rather had the courage to face sum of my weaknesses and deal wif them..yupp...
after that we went to visit Charis..whu is in the hospital...she got appentitis..need to operate..but anyway she is fine now..Praise the Lord!
then we went back to church office and help pastor andrew pack sum stuff and go to shops to return them and also to choose more items to sell for the Youth camp...haha...had great fun lar...
then went home..even as i went home...i still felt very hot...i thot i was having fever but i measured and it was not..i think is the presence of the holy spirit...anyway i gtg sleep liao..nitez ppl..
tired
haha..havent been writing in here for quite sum time...
ok..i have to admit that nowadays i m very
tired...it is one thing that can describe me now...Tired physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally.....i honestly never felt so tired before..nowadays i sleep for like more than 8 hours but yet i still feel tired and my mind is not functioning well or not at all functioning...all day i juz daze during lessons...haha..i dun even feel like talking to people..really..haha..oh my....i LOVE to talk one lors...those whu noe me shld noe...i can dun do anything else..bu i cant stop talking...now..i dun feel like doing
anything..i dun even feel like typing this out..haha..but i type this to those whu are concern for me..those whu ask me wad to pray for me..yupp..pray for me for strength..i need strength at this point of time i guess..haha..havent told anyone wad happen actually...i didnt tell anyone cuz everyone(the christians seem to be down)...and i think i prob cry in front of the person i tell...
the best is i m becoming more and more
high D!!!haha...imagine lizhen being high D...i m getting more and more hot tempered nowadays..and horrible thoughts keep creeping into my mind..and i keep chasing them away and control myself form having them....i tell myself no matter wad i m not going to give the devil a foothold in my life..NEVER...but constant war with the devil and my ownself wearies me out..and result to me hating myself also...i hate myself to think of all these thoughts and all my actions..and nowadays i have really been controlling myself not to flare up or say anything nasty...i dun want to hurt anyone..when i do my reflections at night..while doing QT..i was like wad happen to me???why m i becoming like that???ahhhh...i knew that this period maybe a test of God- to test my faith and perseverance...
i constantly faces stress from everywhere...
church stress..school stress..family stress...and i m sick!
i m tired but i m juz holding on...i m like juz holding on...sometimes i feel that i m like holding on to nth..but nevertheless being a stubborn person..i told myself i m not going to give up...
i m really getting very tired..i so tried to be high and tried to be a strong pillar for those around me..trying to encourage them when they are down..but now i have to admit that i m very tired...
so i guess those whu care for me can only pray for me..i wld appreciate it..
