mylife
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Saturday, September 16, 2006
one whole day in sch?
haha.i juz came back from sch after like 7 hrs of mugging..including walking ard time..and toking time..not to mention stoning time..hahahawas studying at the top floor of oldam wing..super nice..very windy...and the scenary very nice..but then the airplanes that flew by are very noisy!haha..then went down to the void deck to study with david..the void deck was noisy!got the construction..after he left went to the hub to study...haha..then went holland V to eat subway and go home!
a prose i wrote.haha.not a poem..cuz i suck at writing poem.ahah...
when all things fade away
You alone remain
things
people
feelings
change.
the world is spinning
everyone is moving
no one is waiting
sometime we wish we could invert the hour glass
but reality doesnt really allow us
all we could do is to trust
that in all things
God works for the good of those who love Him
Friday, September 15, 2006
overwhelmed
ROAR!i HATE PW!! its the subject that makes me cry the most lar..i almost cried in front of rahimah today..i duno how to do my eom!i did it like 4 times..and its still below expectations..oh man..i m so gonna fail PW..
haiz..i think i m very stupid..i m getting more and more stupid after each year..how can i survive man..i was smarter in RV lar..i wasnt that blur and everything..sigh..
feel so overwhelmed..by many things..no only academic..but others..
today was raining! so i wrote this "poem" out of inspiration.haha.
angels hovering in the skies
won't you hear my heartfelt cries
like the rain pelting down
my heart is crying now
why this feeling wont go
or maybe i duno how to let it go
i feel cold and empty inside
God, dun ever leave me aside
cause i need You like never before
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
i must love myself.=)
ok.it has been 3 days since i last updated!=) and i will control myself not to come online for 1 week before promos..haha.ok.hmm..wanted to study yest..in the end wasted my time emoing around..shld have went home.cuz anyway i knew i din have the mood to study..ah well..lastly i cldnt take it and i cried again.haha.but of course only in front of sonia n carol.this is like the 8th time i cried in ACJC? woah..haha.nah..but i m better now..nowadays i was facing personality struggles..i struggled who i was and my characters..and i hated myself for many things..i duno why..but yar..oh well.i know as long as i focus on God..i wun go wrong..and i know that God is trying to tell me many things..i know i have been distracted by many things ever since the start of term 3..Sunday, September 10, 2006
riverside
i studied by the riverside today!! not sea though..yest i studied at harbourfront..i realise the most effective studying environment for me is in front of the sea..haha.i had a crazy idea..ask my mum go starcruise then i shall study at the void deck..haha..so nice!!! ahh..i m dreaming man...hhaa..anyway studied with paula today..the nike guy came to our church to give a talk on the success of nike..lol..but i thot he likes to act cool.haha.ohh..my hair smells very nice..=D haha..but i dun like my hair!!very ugly and short x( i regret cutting it..oh well..
Thursday, September 07, 2006
oh well..sad..been asking who can study with me..but nobody can..
i just wanted to be with the comm people..but i cant blame them cuz they cant study outside..haha..
i guess i need to stop being so high I !!
but hyeimun was nice..she saw my nick and asked me want to study..and her hse is near potong pasir..haha.=)
i just wanted to be with the comm people..but i cant blame them cuz they cant study outside..haha..
i guess i need to stop being so high I !!
but hyeimun was nice..she saw my nick and asked me want to study..and her hse is near potong pasir..haha.=)
hmm...
oh my goodness..why do i feel so emo nowdays..=Sam i still in depression..not right..i got out of it right..yeah.i did.but why do i still feel the unexplainable sadness in me..i duno why..perhaps being with different grp of ppl i feel differently..i felt hyper and genuinely happy when i was with my comm people and that time as i study with shuwen.haha.
i feel the attention seeking side of me increases ever since last last week.haha.2 weeks ago i still rmb i din even wanted to toke to anyone..but now..i juz want to be with people.i guess it helps in my recovery.haha.but i kinda hate it as well..as much as u guys hate it i hate being an attention seeker..it shows i m dependent on people..which is BAD..but my faith is still strong and holding on..no worries..and i love God more than ever..but WHY do i still feel this way..oh my goodness..i always have unexplainable feelings..haha.
sadly
your words are empty
why
do i feel u are colder
to me
action does speak louder
lost
with excuses in my mind
simply
i m just too sensitive
maybe
you are facing problems yourself
guilty
i havent been paying attention
to you
why
must people drift apart over time
despair
that somehow things will never be the
same again.
Monday, September 04, 2006
comm meeting
haha.today went to flor hse for comm meeting n fellowship.haha.it was one fo the best comm meetings i ever have man..haha..we did reflections..shared abt wad is happening in each of our lives..and yar..we bonded..and then we finally came out with one clear vision..haha..and also consolidate stuff..i wld say tis is the most fruitful meeting man..haha.ended abt 8pm.haha..then went home..super tired...got to do my eom now..haha.bye.=)Sunday, September 03, 2006
oh well
haha.today studied at island creamery with shuwen..productivity level was only raised by abit.aha.i studied half of electrochem!haha..lol.then was in a rather happy mood..was reminded of how when i was small, my mum use to take me to swensens!when she was still working..haha..i rmb that i always order banana split!hhaaa..oh well..when i was thinking of these memories..i thot of being nicer to my mum..after all she is my mum..maybe i shldnt go out and study often..
and i went to the ntuc to buy biscuits for her..
but when i got home...oh well..she slapped me..u noe how it started..
it started with me asking her what porridge(she cook one) is this as i was scooping up the porridge...
she said"see for urself la!"
me: but i duno.there are so many things inside
she:" shutup and just eat lar.u shld be happy u dun have to pay for it.it is out of my own money ok!"
and then i got angry..why muz she always be so calculative..i kinda raise my voice and said "fine! next time i go outside eat myself"
and then she slapped me..oh well..
forget abt her..
tmr i m gg to see the comm..kinda excited..and yet on the other i m not really...oh well.haha.
Friday, September 01, 2006
sun tanning!
whee...today went to the beach!hahaa..its been a LONG time since i been to the beach..at first i was abit in the bad mood cuz kwek was 2 hrs late!haha.but then.after seeing them..somehow i cant try to feel angry already..i guess becuz i know them for so long already..haha.we went siloso beach to find woon..to pass him his shorts.=/ and he was caneoing?haha. then we went palawan beach to sun tan!! haha..we played in the sea..and it was juz very relaxing..aha..even though the sea water was super salty! but anyway i got tanner! haha..who wun get tan after being under the blazing sun for like 3 hrs?haha.i got abit of sunburnt too..ahah..and xiao bai aka bei bei does not look as white anymore..haha.
but i had fun today..haha..it was really relaxing juz to forget abt sch work n other stuff..haha..i shld go to the beach more often..but then i can say singapore seawater is super dirty!!haha..
and oh! my dad is coming back today!! yay!