doubly sick
haha..feeling rather sick now..sian.haha.shldnt have gone gym yest..i thot gg gym will help me improve my health..but i din realise when u are having a cold n a fever is coming ur way..NEVER go gym!and basically..wad happened was i tried almost every machine!haha..i did treadmill,the cycling one,the "skiing" one,the rowing one,incline situps,bench press and alot more!haha..and it is my first time stepping into ACJC gym..and alot of funny things happen..LOLX..Melody was laughing like crazy when i tried all the machines.haha..and then the stupid pull up metal rod hit my head!cuz i was too tall!LOLX.and i cld hear the vibration lar..i pratically felt some of the info in my head was knocked out.then i complain i become more stupid.and then the worst thing is after gg gym..it started to rain when i was on my way to church..haha..but thank God only drizzle..not downpour..haha..aniwae i was rather grouchy and cranky cuz i felt very sick and tired..so sorry to whoever was in prayer meeting yest(pearl,kwek,woon,nathan,eileen,ps andrew).i guess i was kinda irritating when i reflect on yesterday.esp after the hit by the rod,i cldnt think wad i was saying..then i got home even more grouchy..and then i realise that my borther has a much beta phone than me,my immediate reaction was to ask whyy and started quarreling..after quarreling,i was feeling faint and kinda fainted in the bathroom..then after a while,i sort of woke up and started bathing..as i was bathing,even though my head was still very giddy..but i manage to calm down and start thinking rationally..and then i realise how materialistic i was.and then was kinda stupid to quarrel with my brother juz because he has a beta phone than me..my treasures are in heaven and all the things here are juz temporary..verses start to come back my mind.."where ur treasures are ur heart will also be there" then i realise why m i caring abt worldly things?have i not forgotten wad happen in synergiz..then i was also angry at myself for throwing my temper..everytme i get sick and tired,words juz comes out of my mind without me thinking..and i really hate it,wad if i hurt someone real bad with my words..and words once said cant be taken back even though after saying sorry the scar will still be there..but all i cld do is pray to God asking Him for His forgiveness and strength.and then i said sorry to my brother and this is the actually the first time i said sorry to my brother after quarrelling..i realise how God have changed me..and if i continue to keep focus on Him,God will mold me into wad He wants me to be..aniwae my brother also said sorry for some stuff he said to me..and we live peacefully together again!hahahaha
sick!
argh! i m so sick.sigh..
my nose doesnt seems to like me cuz i
keeps running away! pluz i m constantly tired.. and i need to study for my chem test..
ppl pls pray for me man..feeling like a weakling now..haha..aniwae gtg sleep! sayonara!
Encouragement
oh man..past few days,i was living in stress..and now i still am..ever since i come to AC i feel like i m taking my As this year already!!and it is only the 2nd week of actually teaching..and next week i ve got a chem test.sigh..and i m totally sick now..got sorethroat yest todae i got flu..and tmr i prob will have fever..
but God is so nice to me..He puts ppl around me to encourage me..and only in AC i start noticing the small minute nice things God has put in my life..and in AC even though when i m stressed up and everything..there are always ppl around me encouragin by their actions..even though it is juz a small gesture or concern..i m very touched alrady.and i really thank God for these ppl..and now i indeed noe that even a small gesture like a warm smile or a enthusiatic "hi" do really brightens up one day..
ppl like Hong gniap..whenever i say hi to him he will always smile warmly back and say hi and it really warms my heart and brightens up my day..
and frends like pearl,charmaine n joy..my close spiritual frends never fails to encourage me..and i noe that they are always there for me,cautioning me abt stuff and walking together with me down my spiritual life..
and there is melodie,my another twin..she has the same combi as me and we are in the same class..we had a lot in common and thank God for her cuz with her i m not alone in class..and she is real nice too..
and even when ivan say hi to me,it really touches my heart cuz i actually expected him to dao me in acjc cuz with all his frends and all..haha...
anywae gtg study liow..bye!
hectic day
wahh..todae have been a hectic day man..
my normal lessons ended at 3.10pm..then after that had to wait till like 4.30pm for sum lit rep meeting.but then apparently i juz need to go get some forms...shld have gone earlier..then no need to wait so long..i was so tired..one whole day of lessons had drained me out man..the last thing i need is discouragement..haiz..i noe it is meant to be said in a joking manner but when i get tired i get very sensitive..duno why..the words keep repeating in my mind..then the devil keeps putting thots in my mind lar..cuz i took a lot of courage to actually decide on things.i was so unsure of my capabilities and my brother has been discouraging me all the way.haiz1 i went for the drama audition then the script i have to read is a part of pride and prejudice.so i had no prob sounding sad.haha..and i got in..cuz there was only 5 ppl who went for the audition.so it is not that i m good or anything..haha..but Ms Creffield is sure nice. :)
aniwae after the drama audition i rushed all the way down to NYJC..i din even eat my dinner larh..i was so excited abt the disco night.i have been anticipating it before holidays larh..but i realise i was so silly..i thot things will be the same..when before we went our separate schs,carol wrote this poem that says" cruel fate will tear us apart".tat time i was still like "wun lar.our bonds where got so weak.even though we go different schools,0602 will still have a somewhat special place in our heart." i was so looking forward to disco night cuz i thot after that our class can like get together and replayed those old times we had..i thot i cld like pour out all my sorrows to them.well, the saying goes,"the higher u expect the greater ur disappointments will be"maybe its time i shld really move on..its not like i dun have great frends in ac...i have got my old close frends like pao char n joy!and i made nice frends like melodie,xinying,melissa,mingxui and alot more!but i m a very sentimental person..i really wish that even though we ve got our separate lives,we will still be like last time..haiz..well..i guess not everyone thinks like me..
aniwae i m sad not becuz they dun rmb me.in fact many ppl hugged me and wlecomed me warmly.i wanna thank Kailing.she was the first one i meet todae.and i also want to really thank emma!she really made my day man.only ex NYJCian will be really enthu abt the past cuz we still rmb..and to those whu welcome me back warmly,thanks aloti m really happy that u all still rmb me!(dorothy,eunice,anabel,wanteng,hyeimun,huijeen,quelyn,changsoon,bonn and many more) i cld see that they are really happy to see me.but wad made me sad was after the disco night, i cldnt find a single person to eat supper with.when i really feel like toking to them.no one.kinda sad..i noe i m expecting too much...but all i really want was to get together and eat..haiz..anywae half of nanyang population now are all unfamiliar faces..sigh.those fun times are gone..now i need to mug liow..actually.truly indeed everything will change except God and his everlasting love!AMEN MAN!
Synerg!z
whooo! SYNERG!Z reall rocks larh..dun really have time to type much..but i juz wanna say God is juz so AWESOME n AMAZING!!! and His love is ever ever GREAT! experienced and learnt alot of stuff during synerg!z..it really energises me man..and it is so different frm last years one..last year make us very on fire..but this year is more on the maturity of chirstians..the whole conference is juz SO good..those whu miss it,it is such a pity..cuz NTH is worth gg than this man..serious..well..there's always next year!
aniwae i m not gg to quit!i m not gg to give up and let the devil wins man..everytime when i m high..the devil uses ppl esp my mum n bro to bring me down..but it does not works on me anymore..i m going to live for God man.cuz Jesus died on the cross for my sins..and all our sins..
okay..here are the more detailed stuff...
15.03.06night service was simply juz GREAT man!it's abt God's love.Pastor Pat was saying very seldom preachers will preach abt God's love..and truly that night..i cld clearly see and feel the STRONG love God has for me..no other relationship has greater love than God has for us..imagine u have a crush on this guy..but yet he doesnt like u and gossip abt u behind ur back n act laughs at u with his frends..will u still in a sense love(like) him..and even though he say sorry..will it erase all the hurts he have done to you..will you still like him as before..well..most ppl is no..like the saying goes..once bitten twice hy..but u noe wad..no matter how many times we hurt God by sinning..as long as we are really sincere abt repenting,He will still wlecome us back with open arms and He really loves us.THERE IS NO GREATER LOVE than God's love.seriously..
16.03.06morn serivce was like WOW! haha..i never felt so free!
My God is an AWESOME God!
wheeee!
so much to say..duno where to begin!haha..
let me start frm yest!haha..yest was pao bday..she ask me to go Soul Winning Conference but act i din wanna go one..but eventually i went!cuz i felt that i need to go..and i never regret gg! haha..pastor david is good! really..the passion for evangelising to people came back..and he told us the urgency of evangalism..
and during the worship..he was saying if anyone is not saved yet, or there was a period of time when he/she was very sure that he/she is saved,but now am not sure because of the past sins,raise up their hands..and i raised up mine..i wasnt sure if i cld go heaven or not..i wasnt sure if i will have eternal life anot..cuz previously..i was down..super down..the longest tough times i ever went thru..though everything was rather smooth sailing for me but my spiritual life juz went down..for months..and i have sinned..as in i started listening to secular music..i start saying "oh my God" n "wah lao"..and all the stuff i dun usually do...and i stopped doing my daily devotions!
but pastor david reassure that i m saved by the grace of my God..Jesus beared all my sins and i only need to repent and turn back to Him..God is always willing to welcome us back with open arms..there is nth i can do to make Him love me more and there is NTH i have done would make Him close the door..those this phrase sounds familiar?it is a song.which i have reminded of.
nothing you can do
would make Him love you more
And nth you have done
would make Him close the door
because of His great love
He gave His only son
everything was done so you could come
Come to the Father
though ur gift is small
broken hearts,broken lives
He will take them all
Because of His great love
He gave His only son
Everything was done so you could come
actually i noe that it is only by God's grace that i m only save..but many a times we unconsciously try very hard to earn it..i rmb last time i want to be nice to people so that God will like me and see me as a nice person..the motive of me loving other people is wrong..i want to be nice to other people so that i will be in a sense "holy" and be saved..but it doesnt go like this..it is ENTIRELY 100% God's grace that we are saved...
indeed i felt more free...as i dun have to think that i m carrying these sins of mine..but rather it is ALL done on the cross for us..
Jesus died for you so will u live for Him?
whee
whee!
i m getting use to AC!!
okay!i shall stop decieving myself!LOLX!haha
but i like the ice cream there! i eat it everyday!haha.
i m broke!
hi ppl!
haha!i m on a happier note todae!haha
duno why..muz have ate too much sugar..
sugar-rush!!
heehee
ahhhh..i m so broke..
i spent $28 todae!!and i cant believe it man..
haha..in acjc..i m like constantly stressed up..every moment in there okay..haha..
then when i m stress,i eat alot..
so i will get fat n become broke!great!arghhh
aniwae i only went for one lecture todae???pon the rest..unintentionally...
haha..
then after sch went with xiao mei to buy stuff for shooling wedding..haha
yupyup..
ohh...and i realise i very guai lah!!haha
was toking to xiaomei n humin..then xiaomei sudd say i have nice legs..i was like huh??got diff meh..where got nice?
then she say that i shld wear high heels and mini skirts..haha..never man..i never wore a mini skirt or a high heel(maybe only on prom nite)..haha..then she was like saying muz give me a makeover..lolx..hah..so funny..nah..i like baggy shirts and 3/4 pants..haha
anywae nobody looks at legs larh..except her..haha..lolx...
tmr got sch again..now really dread gg sch..but thank God i have pearl n charmaine n joy with me in AC..if not..i m so gg to die larh..ahha..pao say i will be like the first person to get ostracised..cuz i m so loud and crazy!lolx!
aniwae i noe there is a purpose for me there larh..and God is gracious enough to put ppl around me!!so i wun be alone!haha..Thank You Daddy!!haha
ACJC- first day
todae is the starting of sch in ACJC...a new start in a new sch with new ppl..but surprisingly..got alot of RV ppl..but most is NJC rejects one..lolx..so cham.hhaah
but i hate the new environment..and culture...and i din even make frends todae..sigh..
anywae i dun feel like making too..
then early in the morn,got lyk one whole queue of cars outside the sch already!and there is even a traffic police there!oh my..
after all the talks and talks..i realise AC is so strict!!!
1.no coloured shoes n shoelaces
2.no coloured ankle socks!
3.no colour rubber band
4.skirt cannot be above the kneecap more than 2 cm
5.if late muz go for detention class
6.if nv hand in hw punctually,1 demerit pt
7.too many...cant mention all
haiz..the whole environment is juz so unfrendly..
the culture there is wayyyyyy different frm NY man..kinda miss NY..where all my frends are..
ohh..
btw the good thing abt AC is they got chapel service every mon!!
but then kinda disappointed and sadded..cuz not everyone singing..and then those singing are singing so halfheartedly..sigh..
aniwae there is more to come man!!!muz embrace ACJC with a positive and courageous attitude!
ACJC- THE BEST IS YET TO BE!
LOLX..
P.S.now i gotta buy new white shoes..who wanna accompany me?
0602 BBQ!
haha..wad an eventful day todae..
went for CT BBQ in the evening..haha...
played with Zihui canera.the exact camera of final destination 3..lolx..we were saying it is a cursed camera.haha.then i tooked with coconut tree,bbq pit n flowers n swimming pool..lolx..we GIRLS started the fire whereas the BOYS cooked..lolx..we have switched our roles..haha..
then after that sat down and eat..wahh..emma cook the food is simply delicious man..eat until very happy..thanks emma!!haha..we asked her to eat but then she dowan..guess she is still kinda sad..i oso..but i try to be happy..this may be the last BBQ our CT have together!
then after that Mr Mao came!!haha..and we took a few photos..and ate and toke together..but mostly they toke abt OGL stuff..so sad..too bad i m leaving..if not i cld have been an OGL too..aniwae after that we did mass dance..the superstar one and the best things in life are free one..haha...
then we played soccer and bball.haha..but only me and carol and kailing with the guys went to play..then i so accident pron to soccer..keep on kena hurt..hhaa..then stupid didi kicked the ball out..then the gate is locked..haiz..but thank goodness got one car come in..then open the gate..haha..i rushed out..then kailin followed me..and then the ball was stuck in the drain larh..wad the..and the drain is as deep as my height..i went down to picked the ball up..it was damn disgusting..cuz damn dark..then i duno wad the heck m i stepping on..haha..aniwae loga say i m a tomboy..so not true lorh..only act tough larh..haah..then the guys do nth larh..haha..the guys and girls in our class really switch roles leh..then the gate was stucvk open..cuz i guess hold too long..and there was a camera there larh..later take my face i die liow..haha..
then went back to toke with Mr Mao and the rest..he is such a funny teacher..haha..showed him whu is my eyecandy!!LOLX!haha..then after we get high and decided to go home at 10pm..we sat Mr Mao's van hoome..on the journey to the mrt..it was so cool..we sang ye qu by jay chou..somehow i wish we will nv reach the mrt..cuz it was so cosy..and happy to be together..i wish this journey will nv end..but of course..everything has to come to an end..
no more kailing waiting for me when i m so slow..
no more carol and huijeen to tell them abt seeing my eyecandy..
no more seeing emma and sheri bickering abt whose green husband izit early in the morn..
no more hearing of queyln listing out her eyecandieS..
no more calling xuezhun didi..
no more playing of pool with xuezhun n carol..
no more helping others to take secret photos of their fav teacher..haha..
no more funny laughters frm Mr Mao..
will i be the only one whu remain still when everyone has moved on..
will there come to a point when i dun have any thing in common to toke to them...
will there be a stage when they see me as an outsider..an ACSian?
will i soon become a passerby in their life once we no longer meet..
will they still rmb my craziness and loudness..
will we become "hi.bye" frends when we dun meet up so often..
will i feel odd when we meet again cuz then i wun be able to understand wad they are toking abt..after all,only me n emma not staying..
there are so many uncertain outcomes in the future..we might not noe wad will happen..
but for now...the memories are worth to treasure..
this class will not be forgotten.
acjc
well..
the posting results are out..
and i got into ACJC..
dunno whether to be sad or happy..
ACJC has been the dream JC i wanted to go in sec sch..
but nvm..it doesnt matters anymore..
i miss NANYANG ALOT!!
i went back NY todae for the last time..
and i wore my pheonix hse shirt into sch for the last time..
i tried to say bye to all my frneds i noe in nanyang..but of course cldnt see all of them.
walked thru the entire sch once cuz i noe even if i were to cum back..
whu noes..the feeling might be juz different..
i will be seen as an "ACSian" instead of NYJCian..haha
i look good in the Phoenix hse shirt rite..cuz Phoenix rocks!
took this with sirin n quelyn
aniwae i saw him again..for the last time..but wasnt a good last impression..i walked towards him in order to buy drinks..he was walking back..then we saw each other and we both gave ways to each other..and the gap b/w us became very big.we walked our own different paths..like those MTV guy and girl..i duno why..everytime i see him..he is always in the direction of gg upwards wheres mine is downwards..our directions are always opposite..
ppl say that i will forget him when i go ACJC..
i duno..maybe..maybe not.
but sometimes i wonder why do i bother so much when i m juz a passerby in his life..when he wun even rmb me at all..haiz..memories keeps flashing back and back..
and it hurts to leave nanyang at this time..
i almost wanted to appeal back to NY..
but of course my mum wun allow..and it is too far..
but emotions keep holding me back..and not letting me go..
ppl say i shld give myself a chance and also my new sch a chance..
haiz..but being so sentimental..wld i be able to forget..and goes on..
there is such a big "wad if" in front of me
but i have made my choice and shall not regret it..
0602
todae marks the end of "first three mths"..
all the fun..all the slacking are soon to be gone..
i sudd felt so lost..time passes so fast..really passes very fast..
all the memories seem to be flowing back...
and sudd i really miss those times..
they keep tugging at my heart..the pictures of places and ppl..
the laughters and the jokes and the conversations we had..keep ringing in my head..
and the familiarity of the sch and ppl warms my heart..
i felt so home there that i really dowan to change school..i feel so attached to NYJC already..
but still..i had no choice..
it takes me 1 and a half hr to reach there..
oh man..sudd..i have to say bye to all these..my hearts aches...
and i really sudd has the urge to appeal into NY..instead of gg ACJC..haiz..
aniwae below the "peom" is written by Carol..i think it is nice..so copied it onto my blog..carol:hope u dun mind..haha
You know...
when you hang around the same people over this period of time,
and you're so used to all that closeness n comfortability.
It's like you're so used to being with each other
that even when we all keep silent,
you don't feel the least bit awkward.
because it feels as if the hearts are talking.
I guess that's what we call..
Chemistry...
But what if..
One day,fate pulls us all apart,snapping the bond that ties us together.
the bond that we've built over the past few weeks..
What if,everything that we've once been so comfortable with,were to perish and never return ever again?.
What if all the laughter, all the jokes, all the teaming upas schoolmates, as classmates, as friendswill cease to exist..
What if we will never get to relive them anymore?
what if we all go our separate ways,taking it as if all that has happened in the first 2 months was nothing significant..
will we still be friends?
or will we pretend we saw nothing when we walk pass each other in future?
will there still be an X-o6o2 in our hearts?
will things EVER be the same again?
It's the bond that matters.
cruel fate's gonna rip us apart.
and things will come to an end.
TODAY.
2nd March 2oo5
The last day of PAE nyjc o6o2..
No more o6o2 hanging out at ispace during breaks
no more sitting together in the canteen in the morning n laughing over silly jokes
no more playing of choo choo during CT periods.
no more playing of murderer and asking the doctors to wake up in library discussion rooms.
no more bitching as a class about how much we all hate chem lessons.
no more taking of extra long toilet breaks b4 chem lessons.
no more ponning of chem lectures and leaving the canteen 15 mins early b4 bell rings in case bernard comes along n sees us.
no more stupid floorball PE sessions.
no more cursing of 0615 as a class n ordering for rematch with them.
no more huiqi lusting over tommy lee no more sheri n her tengleng-n-huiqi jokes
no more swooning of kok san together wif huijeen n anjali n sheri.
no more clustering at the back every morning arguing over who should stand in front of the o6o2 line.
no more tin tin
.no more anjali
no more lizhen
no more timothy
no more huiping
no more huiqi
no more MAOtains
no more aMAObas.
no more us laughing at Mr mAo's laughter.
no more red jerseys with all numbers complete.
no more o6o2.
no more..no more..no more.....
wad a sad day todae was...nth seems to go right..todae is the day i had the least smiles..in fact the whole day throughout..i hardly smile at all..at first i forgot to bring the class shirts..then i have to go home and take..i feel so stupid..whyy..when i wish to stay longer in sch..this muz happen..whyy...i cld have caught more glimpse of him..haha..lolx..
but todae was rather eventful..haha..those in my class or i have been toking to shld noe..lolx..
then todae end of pe decide to go run around the track..for the last time..so sad..
haiyo..todae very sad jiu tui le..
after first three mths..i told myself not gg to look at anyone liow...gg to make frends with my books..and dun care abt the rest..yupp..thats wad i m gg to do..then next year straight As list got my name!lolx..haha
i will miss u 0602..and definitely everyone in NYJC!
